Today, I turn 28.
I’m single. When I say that, I mean I just got out of a second attempt at happy-ever-after. I’m motherless since four years ago. I’m an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) based in the Middle East and I come home only once in a while. Being all those, it takes a great deal of courage for me to write a blog post with such a subject title, but I dare do it anyway, because first, I believe you accomplish at least 50 percent of a dream when you write about it, and second, because today, I turn 28!
So you see, some day, I’m going to have kids and here’s why:
1. I've always thought that women are prettiest when they are pregnant. For me, that visual proof of a woman's capability to bear a child highlights her femininity, which makes her more attractive to her partner, if not to most of the members of the opposite sex. When I see a pregnant lady, I watch her in admiration from head to toe and wonder how it feels like to be her.
2. I love the preggy look! When I'm in the mall by myself, something just always draws me to Gingersnaps and/ or Havin' A Baby. They are windowshopping haven! I dreamily check out the new styles, even the prices, and make a mental note to keep a budget for a gorgeous set of wardrobe when my turn to anticipate comes. I'll wear all the pretty preggy dresses! I'm going to be a well-dressed mommy! ;-)
3. I felt it when I held Ram, my grandson (you read it right, grandson!), for the first time.
4. I recently started brushing up on my storytelling skills via a workshop by Museo Pambata that was facilitated by no less than the renowned theater, film and TV actor, and every Batibot kid's hero, Kuya Bodjie Pascua. :-) I hope to teach and tell stories to preschool kids soon, but I don't just plan to tell stories to other people's children. I'll tell stories to my own kids!
Batibot is an emblem of the happy childhood that I had. When I think of Kuya Bodjie and Ate Sienna, Kiko Matsing and Pong Pagong, or when I hear the theme song, I don't just remember the old TV program. Rather, I'm reminded of my history as a child. I remember that I was happy, that I had a huge sense of wonder, that I was eager to learn and that I had dreams that are bigger than life. So even though the country's legendary children's TV program had signed off long ago, I wish to pass on that Batibot magic to my own bulilits.
5. I'm not a big fan of breastfeeding but, er, I'm willing to try for the sake of its countless benefits!
6. If I'm not going to be a mommy, what will all those visits to babycenter.com end for?
7. My mother was incredibly beautiful. She did a wonderful job raising me. Although I know that having a great mother doesn't guarantee that I would be the same, and that some of what I learned from her may no longer apply to the changing times, I hope to become at least half the good mother that she was. It terrifies me, sometimes, that she'll not be there to usher me to motherhood, but I'll follow her example nonetheless. I know I'll honor her best when I sing (and dance) my own babies to sleep.
8. I'm not going to pass up on a 9-months worth of license to eat what I want and order people around! Haha. :-) I'll have my loving husband get me some frozen durian in the middle of the night or a balut in the middle of the day or a puto bumbong in the month of June! :-)
9. The homes with kids are the happiest ones. My future home is going to be filled with sounds of play and children's laughter.
10. I know a lot of mothers and I have huge respect for each of them. I believe them when they say that one of the best moments of their life was when they're given their newborn to hold for the first time after long hours of labor. I told God that I, too, want to experience that kind of unparalleled joy, and be entrusted the challenging but sweet accountability of molding a character and a future. :-)